If George Romero wants to option the life story of this blog, it is available.

You may have noticed a brief disappearance. A couple weeks before the California bar exam, I got a notice about, "Violation of terms of service--notify us at once or the blog dies!"

Quite frankly, I did not give a crap at the time. I have lost a little of my enthusiasm for anything Internet--especially blogging.

That, and--long story short--the California Bar exam almost literally killed me. (There sure are a lot of hot chicks in California--I wish I could go out there sometime for something other than this aspiring lawyer stuff...)

But anyway, I guess they figured out that I wasn't Lex Luthor or something so now this thing is back.

Whoop-di-freakin' doo.

PS--Thanks for all of your emails et cetera of concern.

"Few days home then to Bahamas for 5 days on a friend's boat for the last break of the summer. The following weekend have been asked to spend it out in Aspen, Colorado with McCain - which has kicked up the whole VP talk all over again in the press back home ...
Two, mutual feelings .... You have a particular grace and calm that I adore. You have a level of sophistication that so fitting with your beauty. I could digress and say that you have the ability to give magnificent gentle kisses, or that I love your tan lines or that I love the curve of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded glow of the night's light - but hey, that would be going into sexual details ..."

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Slightly off the core topic, and I admit reading this is voyeuristic, but...DANG, WHY CAN'T I WRITE LIKE THAT???

(Believe it or not, this one-lane bridge plus the other one after it takes about a half hour off my commute.)

I guess I should say, "Bridges."

Provincial concern?

Hey I have listened to YOU go on and on with your Sidney Harbour Bridge, Mr. Fancypants!

...on my Twitter page.

(Yes: I have gone to the Dark Side...there is way better trash pick-up, police, and libraries over here; you all ought to think about moving...I mainly wanted just a better peer group and learning environment for the little Wizard clones, but now that I am here I can kind of see what all this Dark Side Zip Code hoopla was all about...)

When you order biscuits, they say, "Would you like Honey Sauce [sic] with that?"

What is honey...SAUCE?

The crap either came out of a bee's ass, or it didn't; in my neck of the holler...

What little brown envelope passed between some nefarious agent of Colonel Sanders and which Department of Agriculture underling to make "honey sauce" suddenly "acceptable," in the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave?

Must investigate...if you notice this blog is no longer updated next week, please...tell my story...

Possible cause of the Sino-French War discovered...further research needed...

(File under "William the Bastard"/"William the Conqueror" rebranding strategies.)

...upon departure?

On entry, you are supposed to say hello, and make a joke that a Silent Generation dude would get, like, "Hot enough for ya?" or, "That Jimmy Durante sure can sing, huh?" I know that...

But when you leave, do you just flash receipt and hold up your crap?

Or do you automatically open your bag and let the guy look in it?

If it is a really old Walmart greeter and he is sitting on a stool, I would think you better not make him get up.

I guess "full battle cry" would be to drop your bag, put your hands on the wall, and feet back and spread 'em...but I am thinking that is a little much...

I for one like Walmart greeters, as a concept: I like geezers working and saving a little on Social Security for us...

By "us" of course, I mean the greatest generation that ever existed: the Baby Boomers.

We are the generation that invented the Beatles, premarital sex, and San Francisco.

(San Francisco was just a pretty bridge and the Transamerica Building before the first Baby Boomer discovered it....we built that city...we built that city on Rock & Roll...)

As the Baby Boom starts to retire, we need to make sure that Social Security--at least for the Baby Boomers--is changed to a name that doesn't make you feel old. Like "Freedom Bucks" or something like that. We also need to increase it for Baby Boomers so that everyone can buy a Harley and overcompensate for being a hippie who got his @$$ kicked by a motorcycle gang in the Sixties....

But I digress.

What about Costco greeters?

I am afraid to even go into Costco, because I have heard if you drive an American car and voted for a Republican in the last decade, you will be arrested.

Costco greeters are more like the Colonel Klink of greeters--there has never been a successful entry into Costco by a person without a member card! I guess that would be the opposite of Colonel Klink, but still--they check and make sure your papers are in order before they let you into a freakin' store. That is pretty weird...

Nope, I will forever be the Tiny Tim of Costco, on the outside looking in.

I am not cool enough for Costco. I know my place in this world...

Don't even get me started on Aldi Grocery Store, and the Cult of the Quarter Shopping Cart. That is like an alternate universe, in that store.